There is such a thing as a Free (Mediocre) Lunch

Breaking up the monotony of San Francisco Financial District lunches can be a hard thing to do. You have your hole-in-the-wall sandwich/curry/wrap/burrito joints, you have your posh lunches like Aqua, you can always bring leftovers, but to break the monotony it's always nice. So, on Kearny Street a new chain lcation (how did that ever get approved in San Francisco is anyone's guess) grand-opened with free food, balloons, long lines and cake. Yes, cake.

The "Teriyaki Experience" with such far flung locations as Waterloo, Iowa and Hayward, California is based in Toronto but opened a fast food teriyaki grill in the Financial District here. While I didn't initially get a "VIP" font-ladened glossy coupon, they were plentiful and a dapper-looking couple gave me theirs. The "Director of North American Operations," a tired-looking barrel-chested man, armed me with an array of other coupons for noodles, wraps and dumplings after seeing that I was coupon-deprived.

The coupon, it turns out, was only good for the teriyaki chicken, which is fine be me. After wading through the throngs of business-casual types, I got my bowl (which, contrary to San Francisco law came in a sturdy plastic bowl and bag) and started to munch. Hot, bland, and light, but typical of what I expected. The vegetables crisp, the teriyaki sauce from bottle and the cost would have been $7.00. Ouch. That said, in his repetition of marketing points, Mr. Director pointed out that there was no butter or fat used. Indeed, the army of 5 teriyaki grillers only splashed water and a bit of soy sauce on the volumes of chicken and bean sprouts beneath their spatulas.

What's more interesting is that the whole experience felt like it was from The Apprentice. Highly marketed with balloons, glossy fliers and long lines of people. A valiant attempt at "buzz." That said, will it be like this in a month? Would folks in Waterloo and Hayward swarm to it when they have other options? Not sure. But one thing that I took away from the mob scene there was that opening a restaurant, no matter chain or posh, is a hard, hard labor-intensive experience. In this case, however, they would be wise to focus on the food first.

Assessment: Heavy on marketing, light on taste.